One more observation and you may want to check out Seinfeld for a laugh about the same thing you are going through. We are all imperfect the hope is finding someone perfectly imperfect to fit your imperfection- it is fing hard and never ending work once in. I know just had a disagreement with my spouse ten minutes ago and for the dumbest reason- we will hug in twenty more and promise to be better- fail again and hug - repeat and rinse over and over till death we do part. 🫥