Wow as I read this you would be exactly the type of person I would never hire. I have employed many people in my past companies and sold.

Here is the better lesson; be valuable to the organization and take agency of that value. Get RSUs and PSUs so when the startup liquidity event occurs you win.

Uncertainty, Pain and Work is all there is - with joy and happiness weaved through all of that.

Hope you find your rainbow.

Peace Respect Forward.